O komuli

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Der Werwolf

Christian Morgenstern, 1905

 
Ein Werwolf eines Nachts entwich
von Weib und Kind, und sich begab
an eines Dorfschullehrers Grab
und bat ihn: „Bitte, beuge mich!“

 
Der Dorfschulmeister stieg hinauf
auf seines Blechschilds Messingknauf
und sprach zum Wolf, der seine Pfoten
geduldig kreuzte vor dem Toten:

 
„Der Werwolf“, – sprach der gute Mann,
„des Weswolfs, Genitiv sodann,
dem Wemwolf, Dativ, wie man’s nennt,
den Wenwolf, – damit hat’s ein End’.“

 
Dem Werwolf schmeichelten die Fälle,
er rollte seine Augenbälle.
„Indessen“, bat er, „füge doch
zur Einzahl auch die Mehrzahl noch!“

 
Der Dorfschulmeister aber mußte
gestehn, daß er von ihr nichts wußte.
Zwar Wölfe gäb’s in großer Schar,
doch „Wer“ gäb’s nur im Singular.

 
Der Wolf erhob sich tränenblind –
er hatte ja doch Weib und Kind!!
Doch da er kein Gelehrter eben,
so schied er dankend und ergeben.

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Ontology recapitulates philology

Jerome Lettvin, 1962

 
One night, a werewolf, having dined,
left his wife to clean the cave
and visited a scholar's grave
asking, “How am I declined?”

 
Whatever way the case was pressed
the ghost could not decline his guest,
but told the wolf (who'd been well-bred
and crossed his paws before the dead),

 
“The Iswolf, so we may commence,
the Waswolf, simple past in tense,
the Beenwolf, perfect; so construed,
the Werewolf is subjunctive mood.”

 
The werewolf's teeth with thanks were bright,
but, mitigating his delight,
there rose the thought, how could one be
hypostasized contingency?

 
The ghost observed that few could live,
if werewolves were indicative;
whereat his guest perceived the role
of Individual in the Whole.

 
Condition contrary to fact,
a single werewolf Being lacked
but in his conjugation showed
the full existence, a la mode.

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The Werewolf

Alexander Gross

 
A Werewolf, troubled by his name,
Left wife and brood one night and came
To a hidden graveyard to enlist
The aid of a long-dead philologist.

 
“Oh sage, wake up, please don't berate me,”
He howled sadly, “Just conjugate me.”
The seer arose a bit unsteady
Yawned twice, wheezed once, and then was ready.

 
“Well, ‘Werewolf’ is your plural past,
While ‘Waswolf’ is singularly cast:
There's ‘Amwolf’ too, the present tense,
And ‘Iswolf,’ ‘Arewolf’ in this same sense.”

 
“I know that—I'm no mental cripple—
The future form and participle
Are what I crave,” the beast replied.
The scholar paused—again he tried:

 
“A ‘Will-be-wolf?’ It's just too long:
‘Shall-be-wolf?’ ‘Has-been-wolf?’ Utterly wrong!
Such words are wounds beyond all suture—
I'm sorry, but you have no future.”

 
The Werewolf knew better—his sons still slept
At home, and homewards now he crept,
Happy, humble, without apology
For such folly of philology.

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The Banshee (An Approach)

Max Knight

 
One night, a banshee slunk away
from mate and child, and in the gloom
went to a village teacher's tomb,
requesting him: “Inflect me, pray.”

 
The village teacher climbed up straight
upon his grave stone with its plate
and to the apparition said
who meekly knelt before the dead:

 
“The banSHEE, in the subject's place;
the banHERS, the possessive case.
The banHER, next, is what they call
objective case—and that is all.”

 
The banshee marveled at the cases
and writhed with pleasure, making faces,
but said: “You did not add, so far,
the plural to the singular!”

 
The teacher, though, admitted then
that this was not within his ken.
“While bans are frequent”, he advised,
“A she cannot be plurized.”

 
The banshee, rising clammily,
wailed: “What about my family?”
Then, being not a learned creature,
said humbly “Thanks” and left the teacher.